Connor
Los Angeles, 90039
When our baby was born, most conversations revolved around the baby and my partner’s recovery. Our midwives checked in with her, friends asked how she was healing, and family made sure she had support. I was glad she had that care, but it also meant there wasn’t much space to talk about what the transition felt like for me.
The shift into fatherhood hit me harder than I expected. Our whole life changed overnight, and I struggled to understand what my role was. I loved my child deeply, but I felt unsure where I fit and unprepared for how much our pace of life would shift. Instead of talking about it, I pulled away. I stayed busy, focused on work and practical tasks, and avoided conversations about how overwhelmed I felt.
Looking back, I realize I was disconnecting. I felt more irritable, distant, and alone, but there was never a moment when a provider asked about my mental health or offered screening for partners. If someone had simply asked how I was coping, it might have helped me feel less alone in becoming a father.
